Dear Me,

We haven’t written in a while, have we? No judgement here. Look how far that’s gotten us in the past, so we’re tossing that habit right out the window, alongside pity parties and all the things that make us sad. We’ll get to that in a minute though. 

Today we write just so we can make room for a smile somewhere within the sadness lodged in our chest.

My love, notice I‘ve called you MY LOVE. It’s just been a while since we’ve used that endearment and meant it. So my dear, this is the first thing on our to-do list. We will say my love at least 20 times a day, even when we don’t mean it. That way, maybe we’ll believe and act like it. 

I am sorry we’re not our best happiest selves at the moment. Sucks, doesn’t it? We can throw blame far and wide, but instead, we’re going to get a mirror, look within and love ourselves back to life. It only takes 21 days, and I hope this blooming habit is one of many lovely firsts.

Have I been rude to you lately, whispering untruths to your dear soul until you feel unworthy? I know I have and I am truly sorry. We’ve been doing that for a while now, we didn’t notice it was slowly rotting and chipping away at all the lovely facets of our being. So silencing those voices we shall do.

It’s a season for change, it’s been for a while. Let’s just stop fighting it and let God do his thing. 

Here my dear, is our list of new and recycled habits, subject to additions and deductions. We will;

1. Practice the habit of letting go
2. Be honest with ourselves 
3. Stay true 
4. Let love in
5. Be kind
6. Allow ourselves to feel
7. Learn, unlearn, relearn
8. Be brave
9. Do our best
10. Count our blessings 
11. Let God 

See that list there my love, it’s not one of those you write and never look at till year end. This will be our mantra, our anthem. We will learn it, live it and love it. We will pray about executing it, go through the pain of evolving to embody it, but most of all, we will practice it lovingly, softly and boldly. 

I love you. You are worthy. You are enough.

Your forever friend,

ME.

Disclaimer: I wrote the above in the middle of an ailing heart, sad and happy, battle weathered and grateful, and on the verge on tears, knowing I am loved but feeling worthless regardless. This was not originally a blogpost, just a vulnerable moment of putting thoughts down, trying to make sense of feelings. That right there is a heart wide open. I posted it hoping it touches one person’s heart. I hope it implores someone to begin the journey to healing. I hope it mirrors the feelings of another. I just really hope it makes a difference. Remember, YOU matter, YOU are unbelievably amazing and YOU are beautiful, especially on those days when it’s so hard to believe. I pray that you live a love filled happy life.

Always, Christine.